According to a recently filed lawsuit in Los Angeles Superior Court, musical artists and executives at record company Universal Music Publishing Group’s headquarters are smoking massive amounts of marijuana (and having lots of sex, while they’re at it). Sex, weed, and rock and roll, anyone?
The complaint apparently comes from an unnamed, butt-hurt, pot-hating, 41-year-old, African American security guard employed by Universal Protection Services, reports Melody Essence at Wohoo. The guard was dissatisfied with the response of her superiors when she raised her “concerns” about widespread marijuana use within the record company, reports Paul Resnikoff at Digital Music News.
Why, those degenerate, hedonistic musicians were seen toking up outside the Universal studios! There were tenants and studio guests smoking marijuana in the courtyards! Guests were seen getting high in UPMG’s hallways! Lobby areas! In front of the building! In the stairwells! And in the parking lot!
The guard named some names in her complaint. It seems “Macy Gray, guests of Jamie Foxx, MC Ren and guests, Rapper TI’s and his wife Tiny’s entourage; and Future, among other artists,” were spotted shamelessly smoking the devil’s lettuce.“Some artists would offer drugs to Plaintiff which she declined, asking does she ‘want to hit it,’ referring to drugs that they were smoking from a pipe; or does she ‘want a hit,’ referring to a joint that they were smoking,” the complaint breathlessly (and cluelessly) relates.
The plaintiff claims that once she “became torn between her professional integrity and losing her job,” her complaints were laughed off. After submitting her complaints in writing, she was informed by her manager that she was suspended, then fired. (Maybe she’d be happier flipping burgers at Mickey Dee’s.)
Why, these potheads smoke so much freakin’ weed, “various studio equipment was becoming stained and affected by the marijuana smoking,” the brain-dead complaint alleges. Smoking paraphernalia and “leftover bags” were frequently found around the studio, according to the filing.The unintentionally funny complaint also covers an incident centered around Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine, who lit up a joint in the lobby. “It’s Adam Levine, from Maroon 5,” a UMPG employee allegedly responded. “He can do whatever he wants.”
Even UMPG head honcho and famed producer Jimmy Iovine allegedly showed up with “American Idol” contestants who were smoking pot, the complaint alleges.
The disgruntled guard, apparently haunted by the suspicion that someone, somewhere, might be having a good time, reported “finding bras hanging in the studio and people being found passed out in the showers after partying and drug use.”
Oh, there were also apparently condoms in the bathrooms, and “UMPG employees engaged in intimate touching and grinding, involving buttocks and genitals.” How much were these horned-up ass-clowns being paid for this, again?
The disgruntled guard is suing Universal Music Group-owned UPMG, her employer Universal Protection Services, the building’s management and others for good measure over alleged labor violations, including a “hostile work environment” (sounds pretty mellow to me, man).
“While we cannot comment on the allegations between the plaintiff and her employer, we can say that the allegations as they relate to Universal Music Group are absurd,” said a company spokesperson.
To read the complete, unsavory filing (and remember, put on your hip boots), go to The Hollywood Reporter.