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Laurelville Police Chief Mike Berkemeier: "I thought I was dying" [nbc4i]
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Laurelville Police Chief Mike Berkemeier:
“I thought I was dying”

The Hocking County Sheriff’s office is investigating who got the police chief stoned. The deputies want to know who is responsible for drugging Laurelville Police Chief Mike Berkemeier.

The contretemps began on Easter Sunday when Chief Berkemeier ate some innocent-looking cake sitting on his kitchen counter, reports Josh Poland at Central Ohio’s

“I got up in the morning and ate it — the entire thing,” the Chief said.

It wasn’t long until Chief Berkemeier began to feel unusual. Apparently, Mikey was something of a weed novice.

”I thought I was dying,” he said.

Berkemeier says all he could think to do was make the short drive from his home to the Laurelville police station for help. Poor guy — he thinks he’s dying, and he DRIVES to a freakin’ police station, putting everyone in danger, instead of calling an ambulance to take his dumb ass to a hospital? Screwed-up priorities…

”I don’t remember much of the drive here, even though it’s just a few blocks and was met by a couple of the medics from the fire department,” the Chief said.

Berkemeier said medics transported him to Berger Hospital in Circleville where doctors did tests to find out what was wrong with him.

”I kept trying to explain to them this wasn’t getting any better. It just got worse,” he said. “I felt like I was out of my mind.” Chief, you done got that dadgum ol’ Reefer Madness, there, buddy…

Berkemeier said a phone conversation from his hospital room revealed the source of his experience. Berkemeier’s daughter told the chief’s fiancée over the phone that the cake Chief Berkemeier had eaten was laced with a big dose of cannabis oil.

”My fiancée hung up the phone and called for the nurse and said, ‘Get a nurse here right away. I know what it is,’” Berkemeier said.

The Chief said doctors gave him a sedative to sleep off the pot-laced cake’s effects — effects he never wants to experience again. (Isn’t it ironic? In order to “save” him from the Devil’s Lettuce, the hospital gave the Chief a much more dangerous drug.)

”It was probably the scariest thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life,” he said. (The Chief should get out more.)

Berkemeier says a friend of his daughter had brought the cake into their home. Yeah, right. A “friend.” It’s always a “friend.” Hey, Chief? Your daughter’s a stoner, numbskull.

Ironically, Chief Berkemeier promised to “clean up the town” when he came into office, reports Denise Yost at Since then, his department has been writing lots of speeding tickets and making plenty of drug raids. Some residents say they think the new police chief is being too aggressive in his efforts to fight crime.

But some residents and city council members fear he’s scaring away business with his aggressive tactics.

The Hocking County Sheriff’s office is investigating possible charges of “corrupting another with drugs” and assault. Assault? For cooking a cannabis cake? How about assault on common sense for thinking you’re dying after eating cannabis?

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