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No matter how many times it is debunked, the myth comes back again and again, even endorsed by veterinarians and others who should know better. “Marijuana poisoning on the rise in pets,” we were told by a headline this week. Trouble is, cannabis is nontoxic to all mammals, so “marijuana poisoning” is simply impossible.

You can count on some clueless mainstream reporter, on a regular basis, claiming that marijuana can “hurt your pets” or is “bad for Fido.” It’s just not true.

The latest silly story about poisoned pets comes thanks to NBC News’ Brian Alexander, who really should have checked out his facts before publicly showing just how sloppy a reporter he can be.

“Calls reporting pet poisonings by marijuana have increased by about 30 percent since 2009, from 213 calls that year to 320 in 2013, according to the Animal Poison Control Center, a division of the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals,” Alexander cluelessly and misleadingly reported on Tuesday. “Those calls probably represent only a fraction of poisonings related to cannabis.”

With sad predictability, the same tired, silly old fears are trotted out time after time. The boring banality of such useless, moronic alarmism serves as a depressing reminder of the sad state of journalism today.

Here’s the deal: Panicked pet owners who call the vet about Rover being stoned do not constitute a crisis. And these folks’ alarm is needlessly increased by silly scare stories like the one NBC News irresponsibly distributed this week.

There has never been a single substantiated pet fatality due to cannabis. There never will be one, either, because cannabis has no way to kill them. There is nothing in marijuana that is capable of killing any cat or dog, in any amount.

The cannabinoids, chiefly THC, which are responsible for the consciousness alteration associated with “getting high” just aren’t poisonous, no matter how much of them a pet (or a stoner) consumes. Dogs — and all other mammals — share the same cannabinoid receptors as human beings. This is because cannabinoids are naturally found in mammalian bodies (as endocannabinoids), and they don’t affect the parts of the brain which control breathing — which is why it’s physically impossible to “overdose” on cannabis.

Since dogs and cats have the same cannabinoid receptors as humans, they can benefit in the same ways from marijuana. Marinol — a synthetic form of  THC —  is, in fact, already used in veterinary oncology as an appetite stimulant.

While pets can get very, very stoned, to the point of being uncomfortable, they always recover, often after a long nap. Dogs may become agitated, distressed, uncoordinated, and even incontinent, staggering around dribbling urine everywhere, but they will be fine once the weed wears off.

Those panicked trips to the vet associated with stoned pets are all unnecessary, without exception, 100 percent of the time. While most veterinarians are more than happy to concernedly cluck over Fido or Fluffy and charge you a couple hundred dollars for the privilege, such medical attention is entirely unnecessary and is a superfluous expense.

The fact that this entire pointless exercise is completely unnecessary and, to boot, ridiculous and expensive doesn’t make your money any less green to the animal doctor.

What pet owners DO need to be cautious about are the other ingredients often found in cannabis medibles, such as chocolate and raisins, both of which can be toxic to pets. Chocolate is a heart and nervous system stimulant for dogs and cats, and raisins can be toxic to dogs, causing kidney failure.

Now, let’s review what we’ve learned today: MARIJUANA DOESN’T KILL PETS, IN ANY AMOUNT. IT IS NON-TOXIC.

To kill a dog with marijuana, you’d have to drop a bale of it on him — there is NO FATAL DOSE with cannabis among mammals. Ever. 



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